I am my own worst enemy. I know that I shouldn't read threads in local Facebook Groups, but then I click on them and get carried away. This rant comes from a post I read last night. It was along the lines of whether having more kids is easier. I know I shouldn't have commented but I did. And then I was bombarded with notifications from what must be superwomen who find it so easy looking after their 5 children. Well here is my take on it. Quite simply. No. I have certainly not found having 3 children easy. Yes I would say you are more relaxed with your second and third. But that is because you have to be. No single person can have the energy to discipline their 2nd and 3rd children as harshly as the poor first born. Here is why I find 3 children less than a breeze.
1. School finishes at the wrong time. Anyone that has a child at school and another one at home between the ages of 0-3 1/2 will know this. 3pm is nap time. It is not picking up your sibling from school time. Except it is. Cue lots of crying.
2. They rarely want to do the same clubs. If my children all wanted to do the same clubs that were on at the same time, then logistically this would be great. Will that ever happen? No. I tried with football. Then middle man "quitted football." Three children equates to more clubs than you would like to think and even more than you would like to pay for. Quite frankly it is a logistical nightmare.
3. You only have two hands. Correction. You only have one hand as one is tied up carrying all the crap that the kids wont carry. One hand is not good as it creates an argument from the two youngest who actually want to hold your hand. I say want, that is a lie. If you are alone with any of the children, they probably wont want to hold your hand. However, if it means that it shows some kind of one up manship on their brother they will wail on the floor until they get to hold your hand.
4. You will end up sounding like your Father. "Do you know how much that costs?" Yes that comes out of my mouth approximately 564 times a day. It starts with the breakfast cereal they have poured all over the floor and ends with the bedtime milk that usually gets chucked all over the floor. Three children are HUGELY expensive. Ice skating £50, cinema (not Kids AM) £35 day out at a theme park = remortgage the house. Don't even get me on the lack of hotel rooms and holiday options for families of 5 or more.
5. They create mess. This is one of my biggest bugbears and something I am trying to sort out, but I am outnumbered. Our house resembles Toys R Us at Christmas or Birthdays. They have so many toys. Do they play with them? Sometimes. Do they scatter them all over every possible space in our home? Regularly. The washing basket is always overflowing, as is the clothes to put away basket. Bless them every now and then they try to tidy, but this generally involves stuffing things randomly into their bookcase. Middle man has recently got into drawing. Fantastic he can use some of the arts and crafts supplies! I can tell you now that there is a large sense of guilt when a Mother recycles 25 newly drawn pictures. Thank God we have weekly collections. How anyone stays on top of the mess with more than 1 child is beyond me and I am not coping with my 3.
I think I had better stop my list there. I have quite a few friends expecting or just having had their third child. I don't want to scare them. Too much. And I wouldn't change mine for the world. But I do kind of understand the shock of my parents when I announced I was pregnant with little man. That both me and my husband were of sane mind at the thought of having three. Are 3 children a breeze? Not for me.*
*but I do love them dearly and only occasionally think of putting them on Gumtree. I would Ebay but the postage would be too much. (Just to clarify that is a joke. I think.)
Well, I definitely will not be showing the other half this post... I have always imagined having three children although the mess part does put me off slightly!!
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Was this WGG by any chance? I didn't see that thread or I would have loved to join in! People are just not honest and not realistic. Having three children is hard work. Full stop. Having more is insane! Agree with every one of your points. x
ReplyDeleteI think it may be slightly less messy if there is a girl. Boys seem particularly bad. I wouldn't have listened to anyone telling me not to have 3. And it is lovely, but my I definitely don't find it easy.
ReplyDeleteYou are right they aren't. My OH was not sure about me writing this post. He likes people to say what a wonderful job I do etc. Which is fair enough but I want them to know it is chuffing hard work! And from what I have gleaned from you it isn't going to get easier - just different!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to this. Since having miss T we have had to rely more than ever on granny and grandad because the two of us cannot get three children to three different locations on Thursday evenings for their clubs. And i totally agree with the mess too - somehow that extra little baby brings with it (what seems) double the amount of washing, washing up, cleaning, cooking, etc than before - yet I know that is not possible to be created just by her. I think it is the fact that the boys are getting older so their clothes are bigger so fill up more space in wash basket, they eat more etc but it all seemed to happen same time as Miss T coming along so she got the blame. She's actually the 'easiest' one of all three of them - so good natured - otherwise there is no way I could cope! x
ReplyDeleteI am thinking that the people who said it was a breeze must have help from Grandparents or siblings. Unfortunately we have no-one near by which does make it difficult sometimes x
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I wrote a similar post on parenting 3 children a few weeks ago. It is not a breeze, it costs a lot and you need to be an octopus! However, I probably have 1 slight advantage with having twins...at the moment they do like going to the same clubs! #PoCoLo
ReplyDeleteGosh, I bet it wasn't an advantage when they were babies twins must be hard! x
ReplyDeletehmmm I've been thinking about another one, I guess I need to think about the age gaps I have for logistics!! #PoCoLo
ReplyDeleteToys are ... they are my enemy at the moment. My husband and mother-in-law loves to buy them and they are inside the storage most of the time because we have a small house. I just want to donate all of them and start anew! #pocolo
ReplyDeletelol - I had 3 just under 4 and even that is hard :-)
ReplyDeleteOh Merlinda I know that feeling well! Our loft is bursting - must do something about it x
ReplyDeleteit's tough even with granny and grandad around! I think the big age gap between the boys and Miss T does help but the boys constantly squabble with each other instead x
ReplyDeleteI have three and the dynamics of a 8, 7 and 4 years old are crazy. They do all want to do different things and have different needs but the way I see it I am upping of my chances of someone actually building me a granny flat in my dotage x
ReplyDeleteI only have the two, & no school schedules, etc to deal with yet - so hats off to you! Whilst I am sure there may be some people out there who do genuinely find loads of kids easy, I suspect that there are always a lot of people painting an idealised & not entirely truthful picture of their lives on social media in order to feel better! #sharewithme
ReplyDeleteFantastic! I will look at it in the same way :-)
ReplyDeleteI think that is always the case. I find it best for me to take a bit of a backseat on social media over the school holidays as I just end up getting upset that other people are doing amazing fantastic things and we have spent all day watching the TV and kicking a football. Silly really as that is my boys ideal day!
ReplyDeleteI think people don't realize what they say out loud. Not everyone has it easy and I only have two and I get overwhelmed with mine and the house work and working fulltime too. There will always be a few that have it or say it's a breeze. I just nod to them and glad they are happy but the majority of us know how it is. :) Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
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