I have always like Duncan Bannantyne on dragons den, but I must admit I have often been dubious of the spa days he offers at his health clubs. Although they are packaged as spa experiences, just reading through the advert, it made it sound like a massage in a gym.

This year however, I was "lucky" enough to win an experience for two at a raffle. My sister is always helping me out, so I asked her if she would like to join me. Booking was simple and although we couldn't get into the London one, we headed off to Banbury for some relaxation.

Well it certainly was an "experience." As predicted a pretty mediocre gym with a few treatment rooms to make it a "spa" I had requested separate treatment rooms but we were shown in together. The therapist didn't even offer to change things when I said it wasn't what I was expecting. We then had our chocolate back massages. This was nice enough. Then onto the head massage. Here I got confused. My sister appeared to be having one too. Which was odd seeing as she was booked for a pedicure. Time must seem longer than I thought and it must have been part of the chocolate treatment.....

Surely you wouldn't be given the wrong treatment?

Then they left? I turned to my sister - curls everywhere! Hmmmm odd pedicure.

I thought I must have booked it wrong. I checked. I hadn't! There was no one on spa and the girl at the front desk couldn't have cared less.

We had a microwaved curry (again not screaming spa to me) a chat and we left. I had a lovely time, but only because I was with my sister and we could chat and laugh about it.

We did go through to the heated loungers after our massage but they didn't have enough for the guests they had ( 5 loungers and 7 guests.) This is not a spa experience. It's a massage in a gym. When I returned I looked at trip advisor and it seems that this is a pretty usual experience at Bannantynes!

A customer survey landed I'm my inbox. Now this is what really gets my goat. Don't ask me to spend my time filling in your survey, telling you how badly wrong you got it and then don't even acknowledge that I had a bad experience. After 3 weeks I don't think I will hear back and to be honest if they offered me a free massage I wouldn't bother anyway!

Personally I think their experiences are a joke - it certainly made us laugh!