Dear Fitness Instructors,

I attend a gym, mainly to get a change of scenery and get out of my house. I also think that doing some sort of exercise helps with my stress levels. Unfortunately, I have little self discipline, and left to my own devices, rather than an energetic run, I will opt for a leisurely bike ride whilst watching Eastenders. This is why you will find me in your class as I am too polite to walk out half way through. There are however, some things that I would like to point out:

1. I don't want to hear you sing. Just because you have a microphone like Madonna, doesn't mean you are Madonna, so please stop the singing.
2. If you look around the class, it is the same bunch of people that have been there for the past 4 years. We don't need talking through every single step. We certainly don't need the music down low so that we can hear you talk through every step for a whole hour.
3. I have tried wearing contact lenses, but they are not for me. I wear my glasses so I can see. I don't need the mickey taken out of me for wearing them every week. In the same tone, you are lucky that men come to your class so again they don't need to be laughed at every week either. Once, now and again is fine, I have a sense of humour, as long as it is not every week.
4. I expect the classes to run on time. An hour is precious to me. I don't want to get home late because you over run every week because you start late as you are trying to get people to buy a t-shirt with your logo on it.
5. I never want to give anyone except one of my kids a high 5. I certainly don't want to give a sweaty stranger a high 5.

Just needed to get that off my chest. See you in class next week

Louise